Well, this past week has been insane. I'm just about to lose what little brain capacity I have left. Used to, I could easily put 13 things on my to do list every day, and get them all done with time to spare. Now, I'm lucky to get out of my pajamas by 2 in the afternoon. I hate to be a downer, but I guess that's what makes blogs more personal - sharing the thorns with the roses. So today is one of those "thorny" days. I have been hoping beyond hope for the past two weeks that Zaylee would FINALLY sleep through the night and I could catch up on some much needed rest. Yet, every night, I am sorely disappointed as I drag myself out of bed at 12:30, 2:00, 4:00, 4:15, and 4:30 am. See, Zaylee has developed a very strong fondness for her pacifier at night. If only her ability to keep the paci in her mouth was as strong as her desire for it. The first four times listed above are just to calm her cries and return her paci to its place in her cute little mouth. The fifth is mom tired of getting up every 15 minutes, and "alright, I get the picture - you're hungry... feed, if you must." And after a good 10 minutes, Zaylee is back in a deep sleep only to awake again to eat at 6:15!!! Yes, I love my baby. Yes, I'm so happy she is growing and eating well. But, 6:15??!! Come on, you just finished eating an hour and a half ago!
To make matters worse, the temperature changes here in Mississippi have gifted me with a wonderful week-long cold, which I can't seem to kick due to exhaustion. It's hard enough to sleep when you have to get up 5 times in the night, let alone when every time its time to go back to sleep, you can't breathe through your nose and your throat is sore.
Well, atleast today the cold seems to be on its way out. I am SO glad it's Friday and Robbie will be home for a couple days with me and Zaylee. He's been working LONG days these last few weeks and even two weekends on top of that! That's probably another reason I'm so worn out. It's hard to do Wal-mart runs, hair appointments, doctor appointments, etc. with a little one in tow and no one to accompany you and help keep her happy. The value of having family around is so great - a luxury that I certainly wish I had on days like those. Thankfully, we do have some neighbors who are like family to us and have been willing to pitch in when they could.
Well anyway, you're probably wondering about the title of today's post. I had a doctor appointment today to ask about a couple moles on my skin that have started to look a little weird. I'm sure it's not a big deal, but with all the horror stories I hear about skin cancer these days, I thought it would be best to be proactive. I went in today and the doctor took a look. She's only a family practice doc, so I didn't have any tests done today, but she gave me a referral for a dermatologist because of a spot on my nose. Not a good place to have an irregular mole. I'm nervous about having it looked at/removed. There were also two other places on my back that she thought should be tested.
So, ... great. I've always been a very healthy person, avoiding the doctor whenever possible. I don't like taking medicine, I don't like being sick, I definitely don't like stitches. And here I've finally recovered, for the most part, from having a baby and all the wonderful medicines, doctor visits, etc. associated with that, and I get to go to a new doctor and have chunks of skin taken off my back. Not fun. My hope is that when I go in to the dermatologist, he just tells me that I'm worried for nothing and can go home unscathed. We'll see.
It's definitely harder to take care of yourself when you're a new mom, but I think it's really important even if in my mind I think everyone else's needs should come before mine. If you get spread so thin that you can't attend to your family's needs, then you're not of any use to anyone. You're just a grouchy, sick, and tired person that the other people (and pets) in your household have to tolerate being around. That's sort of the position I've been in this week. I just pray that I can get ahead again and get back in the game in the next few days. Amazingly, writing about all this has already made me feel a little better. ^_^ Thanks for listening!
4 comments:
Amber, First of all, congrats on your beautiful Zaylee! She looks so sweet! We miss seeing you guys....and Fairview! Don't worry, those long days won't last forever.....trust me! :) Next time you're up in the middle of the night feeding, be glad Zaylee doesn't have a twin who is about to wake up and want to nurse, too! She'll get through it.....and watch, the first time she sleeps through the night, you'll be up worried if she's ok! :) Tell Robbie we said hello! Take care! Kristy
hey girl! hopefully she will start sleeping through the night soon. Colin has the same problem with his paci, I finally stopped putting it in his mouth when I lay him down (if he is good and asleep) if he isn't then he would wake up wanting it. Those Paci's can be a good thing and a bad!!! also we started giving Colin cereal in his last bottle for the night and that helped him sleep longer and sounder. I started out only putting very little in his bottle then gradually put more. That is the only time he eats cereal right now. I feel for you not getting sleep but she will get the hang of it soon and you will not remember those long nights!
Amber, you and Robbie are doing a great job! I know how hard it is and I think yall are both doing great!!! Do you wrap Zaylee up at night? I would wrap mine in their blankets and put the paci in between the blanket and their mouth and it never really had an option of coming out. You might want to try that?!?? And ditto to the ceral at night. That helps a lot!!
hey girl- i know what your going through and trust me- it will be over before you realize it and you'll be like me- wishing for baby days again (yes - i am glad i can sleep through the night now) but enjoy her being soley dependant on you while you can:) ...and about you saying sorry for writing the downers to- im glad you did. it makes us human. you are exactly right- you gotta take the thorns with the roses. i have really enjoyed hearing you and robbie's point of views in class and you have been an inspiration to me in more ways than you know by some things you have said. i enjoyed reading your latest two blogs because it toke me back to about 5 1/2 years ago:)...i think yall are doing a great job and if you ever get discouraged-call me:) i have probably been through most baby issues and would love to help:). also, if you happen to need a babysitter so you and robbie can go out:)...i feel like we just were gettin to yall- we will miss yall:(...but i know God has great things for yall!
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