Verse of the Day

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life." Psalm 139:23-24

This was the verse for today's sermon and it is one that speaks closely to my heart. My "anxious heart." I have been so frustrated this past week with everything, and it's all based on the fact that I STILL haven't had our baby. Everything has been ready for weeks, the house clean, the nursery done, the yard manicured, even the dog washed and groomed. Every morning I would wake up thinking, "Today will be the day!" And with each passing day I would get more disappointed and more unbearable to be around. My poor husband. Last night, I was at a peak of my depressed state. I told Robbie I was so tired of everyone I know asking me, "Have you had your baby yet?...When's your due date?...You're still here?...etc." I didn't even want to come to church this morning for fear of more of the same.

God must of known I needed to be there today. I fell asleep fairly early last night and woke up this morning feeling really good. There was no way to justify not going, maybe except for the fact that I've worn the same shirt for the last 3 Sundays (nothing else fits!). So, we got up and went to church. The sermon was about God examining our hearts and revealing the things that were separating us from him. I realized that this entire last terrible week, I have taken no time to read and pray alone with God. Perhaps my subconscious excuse was that I was too distracted. Maybe deep down I was angry that God was making me wait. It occurred to me that the reason my week has been so bad was that my heart has been in the wrong place. Now, more than ever, I should be depending on God day by day. He's the one that will supply me with the strength to get through labor. He's the one that blessed us with the miracle of a child. He's the one that we need to teach us how to be great parents. And he's the one that will give me patience and perseverance until our day to be parents arrives.

For those of you out there who can relate - and not just women who are 9 months pregnant, but anyone who is going through an anxious time that is distracting you from what's important - here is my advice to you: When God is in the center of your life, everything else will fall into place and every other issue will pale in comparison to the importance of God's leadership in your life. I pray that anyone who is going through rough times will remember to rely and trust in Him, which reminds me of another great verse:

"Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need." Matthew 6:33